"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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