Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
