Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
