I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
