Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
