Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
