i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
