He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
