He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
