is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
