I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
