When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
