You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
