Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
