Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
