his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
