Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
