I think I won the penis lottery.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
