Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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