Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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