There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
This toilet bowl is my home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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