Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
