there was a trapeze. enough said
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
