It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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