its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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