i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
