Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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