all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
