first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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