it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
