Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
