hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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