69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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