how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
