Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
