i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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