Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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