i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
