I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
