let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
