I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
