I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
