Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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