I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
