I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
