whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
