If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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