Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
