So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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