she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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