She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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