Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we're so committed to being not committed
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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