I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
