You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
