one might say we're banned from that church
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i've created a new STD.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
