my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
