tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
